I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
