At least make sure they are 18
Why
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
