That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
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I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize