Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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