FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
