it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
