We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
