have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
