i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Randomize
