in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
