What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
