just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize