Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
