As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
