My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be still, my beating vagina.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MIDGETS
????
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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