RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
