Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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