That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Randomize
