Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
