I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he quoted the bible to break up with me
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize