I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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