I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
