How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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