Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Randomize
