Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
