what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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