totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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