Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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