Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning? http://tfl.nu/h9gl
  Replies (35) Good night (727) Bad night (3250)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college http://tfl.nu/uf6j
  Replies (37) Good night (5364) Bad night (588)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation. http://tfl.nu/gj2w
  Replies (17) Good night (4169) Bad night (1152)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up? http://tfl.nu/cmpo
  Replies (30) Good night (2918) Bad night (3532)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me. http://tfl.nu/3sv8
  Replies (16) Good night (3374) Bad night (1097)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all. http://tfl.nu/xpv5
  Replies (7) Good night (1525) Bad night (476)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though. http://tfl.nu/dlfh
  Replies (1) Good night (463) Bad night (945)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter http://tfl.nu/13z8
  Replies (2) Good night (800) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause. http://tfl.nu/cvb4
  Replies (2) Good night (877) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I believe they call that patchouli.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): Whatever she smells like compost and feathers. (508): I believe they call that patchouli. http://tfl.nu/ql5w
  Replies (7) Good night (603) Bad night (725)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat http://tfl.nu/1yef
  Replies (6) Good night (940) Bad night (330)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal. http://tfl.nu/2v18
  Replies (0) Good night (430) Bad night (263)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe. http://tfl.nu/65wu
  Replies (4) Good night (466) Bad night (1053)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants http://tfl.nu/tsrf
  Replies (4) Good night (363) Bad night (854)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME http://tfl.nu/yk5a
  Replies (6) Good night (417) Bad night (138)

Randomize