Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.

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(301): roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away. http://tfl.nu/4epj

Replies (7) Good night (2673) Bad night (567)
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(253): View more from Washington

My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?

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(253): My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable? http://tfl.nu/rdbs

Replies (13) Good night (2769) Bad night (770)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?

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(608): can we please move this conversation out of my vagina? http://tfl.nu/qzib

Replies (9) Good night (834) Bad night (2570)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.

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(609): My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well. http://tfl.nu/p8ga

Replies (13) Good night (741) Bad night (2805)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!

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(832): i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!! http://tfl.nu/co2h

Replies (28) Good night (5537) Bad night (615)
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(248): View more from Michigan

it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world

(1-248): View more from Michigan

i told you not to try chat roulette

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(248): it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world (1-248): i told you not to try chat roulette http://tfl.nu/80bv

Replies (20) Good night (1266) Bad night (6503)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good

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(978): I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good http://tfl.nu/mzsl

Replies (8) Good night (3028) Bad night (1203)
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(314): View more from Missouri

I hate the hobo that sits outside our building

(1-314): View more from Missouri

Joe or Chris?

(314): View more from Missouri

do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?

(1-314): View more from Missouri

well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.

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(314): I hate the hobo that sits outside our building (1-314): Joe or Chris? (314): do i even wanna kno y u kno their names? (1-314): well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye. http://tfl.nu/9vla

Replies (17) Good night (8239) Bad night (1158)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.

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(412): This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun. http://tfl.nu/9a4x

Replies (10) Good night (1438) Bad night (3663)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.

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(304): it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast. http://tfl.nu/xssi

Replies (8) Good night (1153) Bad night (5318)
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(252): View more from North Carolina

We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.

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(252): We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job. http://tfl.nu/vj5r

Replies (11) Good night (2498) Bad night (968)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?

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(413): Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him? http://tfl.nu/47cq

Replies (9) Good night (3203) Bad night (887)
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(785): View more from Kansas

The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?

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(785): The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight? http://tfl.nu/iipx

Replies (8) Good night (2413) Bad night (616)
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(913): View more from Kansas

The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol

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(913): The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol http://tfl.nu/w5ds

Replies (5) Good night (1113) Bad night (706)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.

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(720): Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy. http://tfl.nu/nimg

Replies (2) Good night (814) Bad night (281)

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