Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
