Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs