I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
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