He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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