evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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