Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
