i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
