I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize