I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
