ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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