her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
