She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
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maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
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So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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