no, he came in my armpit
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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