I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
