she kept yelling 'call me bella'
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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