I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
