that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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