This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize