Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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