I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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