So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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