The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Green mimosas i think yes
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
