Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
