Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
