Kiss
Puke
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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