Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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