Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
