4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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