I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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