I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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