and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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