put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize