I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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