That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Drunk is a universal language darling
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
