my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize