Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
