I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I party with great urgency now.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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