Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
