I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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