Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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