he shaved USA in his pubs
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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