I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
