first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
