my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
