i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
do herpes really smell.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
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the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
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My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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