dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
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You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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