At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
